Too much gin, very little bucket
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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