So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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