nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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