Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
