The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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