So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
God, I missed his penis.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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