This house was built for laser tag.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
How external is "for external use only"?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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