Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
