Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Say something about gay babies.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
