Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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