And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
