why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
