i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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