So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
