You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
