Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
