I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
