Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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