when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
