Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
