so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
