My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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