You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
