First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
