how can u be prego again
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
