you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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