You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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