She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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