Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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