Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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