I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
