So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
