btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
