The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
