And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
