worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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