I didn't shave. On purpose
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
