U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
