So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
