I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I looked at my own cervix.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
