weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
