I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
