Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Quick, to the slutcave!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
