how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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