i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My dick has a subreddit
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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