cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
