So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
