So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
