So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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