After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
